An open letter to Mona Scott-Young...

Dear Mona,

Let me first start off by saying how proud I am of you. Over the years you have not only managed some of the biggest stars in the music industry, but also created opportunities for so many people. I first heard of you while in high school when I was an avid watcher of "The Road to Stardom with Missy Elliott." That was my show! Whatever happened to Jessica? She was so talented… I forgot what prize the contestants were promised if they won the show, but she sure did not catapult to success like I imagined she would.  

I'm not certain, but I think that show with Missy Elliott marked the beginning of your work in reality television. I remember being inspired after watching a bunch of real people who were all striving to reach their goals. I also remember watching you, along with a team of talented music industry professionals, help these real people by offering them guidance and tips for success. It's unfortunate that that show wasn't renewed for a second season.

Over the years the reality television game has changed and these days a show like "The Road to Stardom" would never make it to a major network especially since it focused solely on the R&B/Hip Hop genres. Since there are enough singing competitions on air, you developed another plan for a reality television show. A show that would become the guilty pleasure for so many people… "Love & Hip Hop."

Nobody wants to see positivity anymore at least not when it comes to urban communities. And people are obsessed with what goes on in the personal lives of celebrities. It seems like you have developed the perfect formula since "Love & Hip Hop" combines washed up rappers, pseudo-celebrities and the folks that associate with them with the perfect amount of conflict. Sprinkle in some sex every now and then and you’ve got a hit.

I must admit, I am not a fan of the "Love & Hip Hop" series but I have watched an episode or six. I frequently see clips that others post on their blogs and I’m usually intrigued. Most recently I saw a scene from the episode when Rich referenced his “backsliding indiscretions” with Erica, the cast member who apparently had sex with Rich’s female ex. I was so confused. Not only was I confused, but I worried about who else could be watching the ratchtivity. Whose kids are being influenced and inspired just as I was when I watched "The Road to Stardom" years ago? Granted, you may say that this show isn't intended for a young audience but I know that you know they’re watching.

Your company, Monami Entertainment, is flourishing these days. Indeed, it is good to be you. Your net worth probably increases daily. I’m sure you profit from the spinoffs and opportunities that current and former "Love & Hip Hop" cast members acquire. I admire your tenacity and I love to see when hard work pays off, but quite 

frankly, I’m tired of the big booty having, lunch going all the dang time, confrontational female characters on reality shows. 

I always wondered how and why cast members have time to “meet up” or “go out to lunch” with people they clearly don’t like. I also wonder when producers will stop insulting the intelligence of viewers. It’s clear that most of these luncheons and outings are staged. I recall you defending the actual reality of "Love & Hip Hop" and saying something along the lines of “this is their reality, we just capture it.” That may be true but oftentimes their “reality” is expanded upon and exploited for ratings. 

I've sat back and witnessed numerous head shake-worthy incidents made popular on "Love & Hip Hop." First it was Jim Jones’ fiancée hopping over couches in an attempt to fight another woman, and then there was the Jocelyn and Stevie J abortion situation along with the fight with Lil’ Scrappy, now there's Rich bragging about "backsliding" with a woman he's not even in a relationship with. When does it stop? When will you and your team opt not to use fancy filters on your cameras to make foolishness look like a soap opera?

It is my hope that you and producers of reality shows start challenging yourselves and the heads of networks. It’s clear that once you have one successful reality show, it’s much easier for you to get others on air. It’d be great if for your next show, you thought outside the box. Instead of placing a group of fashionable, conflicting women in a cast how about changing things up a bit? Go back to your reality TV roots and find a way to change the lives of your cast members, not exploit them. Close but no cigar on The Gossip Game show… I haven’t watched it yet, but I just know…  

Sincerely,

Alexandria B.

How Important is Sex?

Below you can watch the latest episode of The Business Report. In this particular video we discuss the importance of sex in today's relationships. Andrea and I had totally different opinions on this topic. She thinks that sex is extremely important and I happen to disagree. In my opinion, sex should not be the focus of any relationship or it is destined to fail. After speaking with a couple of male friends who had great outlooks, I decided to write this post. I have a great female following on this blog so your input is requested as well. Please watch the video below and then read on for the perspectives of a few friends of mine.



So did you enjoy the episode? I sure hope so... After the video was posted, we got a lot of positive feedback and people were eager to share their opinions. One guy wrote the following message to me:

"Sex is important to me, but only if I'm in a relationship. I became celibate last year because I wanted to have a better understanding of what I truly want in a woman, and how much I truly value sex. Casual sex just didn't do it for me. The best sex I had was when i had a strong connection to the girl and just one touch would make her tremble, this is not because I'm that dope in bed but its because the attraction was completely beyond the physical. When done right, it can only magnify how you feel about a person for the better but most times it DOES complicate things where both people aren't on the same page."

All I could say was "wow" in response. I wish more men thought this way. Society encourages promiscuous sexual activity. Musicians sell it to us and we buy it in abundance. So how can we expect people to not think sex is important in relationships? I wish more people would pay attention to what's important as opposed to what we see and hear in the media. Another response I received was from a gentleman that I happen to have a crush on (LoL) and he simply stated he knew that relationships could never work with women who tried to jump his bones early in the relationship. He also went on to say the the larger the focus on sex is in a relationship, the less time it will last. I totally agree. People get bored and cheat for the purpose of finding sexual satisfaction so an emotional connection is necessary.

This topic is so multifaceted and can be looked at from multiple angles. To sum it all up, I still rate the importance of sex in relationships a 3 and I know that the only way that a positive bond can be formed is with the absence of sex for a prolonged period of time. This way, you'll know that you truly care for the person and sex will just be an added bonus.

Thanks for reading,

Alexandria B.

Why Black Men Don't Desire Black Women...

I honestly feel like I'm beating a dead horse. We've heard countless times about the overwhelmingly high percentage of Black women that are single. The suggestion that Black women date other races in order to find love indicates that Black women need to stop being so close-minded and venture out just as Black men have. I've heard that Black women need to change their perspective on dating and not be so picky. These suggestions each require that Black women do something different.

This past weekend, my friend Andrea and I started a YouTube account and recorded a few videos. The main topic of discussion was wealthy Black men and their decision to date non-Black women. Allow me to first state that I have no problem with interracial dating, but this trend is beginning to annoy me. Wealthy, or shall I say financially stable, Black men seem to keep settling down or developing romantic relationships with women that look nothing like their mothers. White and "exotic" looking women are all the rave and I am beginning to wonder why. In an effort to keep the length of this post down, I'll just state that many Black men in the entertainment industry choose to date outside their race and as a Black woman, I am offended. When I post the video you'll be able to get more details and our opinions on this issue.

This post is not meant to focus on the famous Black men that date outside their race, I want to highlight a young man that I know who just recently graduated from high school. For the purpose of confidentiality, I will refer to him as "R" for the duration of this post. I was chatting with R on skype and I mentioned the aforementioned topic. He instantly replied "Well, we want women with natural beauty." I was immediately confused as to what he meant so I asked him to elaborate and he continued "When they wake up in the morning, they are ready to go. They don't need no 24 inch weave..." He also went on to mention that Black women have too much attitude and are too controlling. I then asked if he preferred a submissive woman or someone that he could control and he replied "No, I just don't want someone that thinks she can control me."

If R is barely 18 years old and he has developed a preference, what is really going on? Is society teaching us that Black women aren't naturally beautiful? Do we really need weaves to compete with other women or do we just wear them to please ourselves? Do Black women really try to control their men? If so, are we taught by our mothers to do so? Are Black women single not only because Black men are either dead or in jail, but because these men are choosing not to date them? If Black women were to date outside their race, would this solve the problem? I have so many questions, but I'll stop there. Please feel free to comment and give your opinion on this topic.

Thanks for reading,

Alexandria B.

Why We Settle For Bad Romances...

While listening to the radio, I happened to finally listen to the lyrics from Lady Gaga's hit single, "Bad Romance." I never really paid attention to the song before today, but it's pretty catchy. As the song went off, I began to think about the idea of a bad romance and what it means to me. Lady Gaga says "I want your love, I want your revenge. I want your love, I don't wanna be friends." and it totally struck a chord. We often ignore signs that would normally steer us away from an individual that may not be right for us because we dread being alone. OK, you're probably thinking

Why did Alex think so hard from simply listening to a Lady Gaga song?

and you're right for questioning my thinking, but I have a point. I mean, take a listen to Melanie Fiona's "And It Kills Me" when she sings "But I can't be alone, I need you to come on home. I know you're messing around, but who the hell else is gonna hold me down?" THIS HAS TO BE THE DUMBEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD!

I must admit, it's usually women that settle and make these sacrifices. Why is that? Are we that unhappy being single? Why do women seem to be so emotionally unstable and downright stupid for putting up with nonsense just to remain in a relationship. I'm honestly not equipped to do this, if I catch a guy in a lie or suspect foul play then it's a wrap! I'm not suggesting that people start thinking like me because I have serious trust issues, but use some common sense when it comes to relationships. Geez Louise! Heres some advice: If someone is lying to you, playing games with your emotions or just plain not treating you the way you treat them, it's time to let it burn. What are your thoughts?

Hmmmm. Do you still want to write a bad romance?