Wednesday, June 23, 2010

When bashfulness is no longer cute...

I can recall being a shy kid that rarely spoke unless spoken to. My teachers loved me for this attribute so I was always the child selected to win prizes and whenever we had a substitute, I was labeled as "well-behaved." But I've recently come to realize that I wasn't as well-behaved as I was quiet. I wasn't quiet because I was a quiet person, I was quiet because I was too shy to speak. To others, it was cute that I wasn't adamant about getting my point across as a child. I was content just sitting in class and doing my work. I'd prefer to save my questions to ask the teacher in private. They never seemed to mind. My shyness helped me get away with a lot of things, but it also prohibited me from getting as involved in many interesting school activities. With this as the case, I attempted to alter my shy trait during my last couple years of high school. I did this because I began to realize that closed mouths didn't get fed. If I wanted to "be somebody" others had to know my intentions. I had improved so much by the time I entered college that I was able to persuade people to vote for me and I became Freshman Class President of Texas Southern University. I've since gotten involved in many other activities that show that I am no longer that shy, quiet girl that I once was. Unfortunately, my new found confidence hasn't made it's way to my social life. I still find myself being quiet in public settings that don't involve my education or employment. Don't dare ask me how this affects my dating life. It's ridiculous how difficult it is for me to approach my crush. At my age, should I still be crushing? I mean, one should get to a point where they're comfortable letting another know that they have taken interest in them and would like to pursue a relationship or whatever. However, I can't see myself doing this anytime soon...

The purpose of this post is to get your thoughts on the issue at hand. Is it cute for a person to be shy? Or is it a turnoff? When you reach a certain age, it's crucial to be able to express your thoughts. But at what point does being mouthy become too much? Is there a difference when considering bashfulness between males and females? Is there a fine line between being meek and downright insecure? Being shy can be classified as a "cute" trait for a young child, but when is it no longer cute?

Thanks for reading,

Alexandria B.


  1. Damn. I feel you. I guess being talkative isn't necessary but if being shy is messing with your romance then something needs to change!

    Good blog tho!

  2. As usual Alex I implore you to find the answers to your questions and give them to me. Seriously I have to give myself a pep talk before going out and socializing with people I don't know that well. Its kinda ridiculous. When isn't it cute? When bashfulness causes you to miss out on opportunities you would have had if you had just spoken up. It kinda sucks

  3. Sister.
    If I'm being honest with you, I've only ever been shy in certain settings, the crush one is DEFINITELY one of them, but otherwise I'm pretty outspoken.
    I think it's okay to be shy, but you need to be bold in the areas that you need to be. For example [and trust me, I'm working on this too because I overly flopped in this area like 3 months ago] if there's a guy who's caught your eye, striking up ANY kind of conversation when the opportunity is available should definitely happen, otherwise you miss out on a potential blessing.
    I think after a certain age, you really need to speak up, otherwise things that could give your life some real edge will just pass you by, and you'll forever wish you did, even if it's lil slips here and there, just doing it is better than staying quiet.

    Loved this post hun, hope to see more xoxoxo