Friday, October 1, 2010

Why so many Black women are single...

I,like many others, am sick of hearing people discuss why they think the majority of Black women are single. The video above is of rapper, Nelly chiming in on why he thinks many women are single. He makes a great point when he states that some women pass on good guys because they don't look like "the perfect guy." I'm guilty of this. For example, I have sworn off short guys. Imagine that! I'm only 5'3 and I have the nerve to be picky about height. A friend and I were discussing this recently and she has a long list of deal breakers. She has been single for a while might I add. On the other hand, I know plenty of women who are no where close to getting married, but engage in aimless activities with subpar men for the sake of not being alone. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be single.

Anyway, the purpose of this post is to ask you a question. Do you think many women are too picky? Should we have to settle for the men that are available as opposed to waiting for "Mr.Right" when we're not even sure he exists? I'm totally stumped when it comes to this topic so what are your thoughts?


  1. Lol i was gonna do a post on this topic but you beat me to it.
    i agree. I am guilty of "the perfect guy" syndrome too. But quite honestly, anything less than MY idea of perfection is setteling, i dont think i need to settle.
    Picky depends on the situation. If he's an amazing guy, great job, caring and 5' 10 and she dismisses him b/c she doesnt date guys under 6 feet... she's an idiot lol
    I dont know if settleing is good. Matter-fact, it's not. You will settle and then resent that person after time.


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  3. I understand what he's saying, and I think some girls do get caught up in what they "look like" with a guy. Especially with height/skin color. I have lost count of how many times I have heard a girl say, "Oh well, he's sweet/kind/faithful/everything I'm looking for in a man.....but I don't date guys that are light skinned/dark skinned/short or (insert other disqualifying characteristics here)"

    That's when being picky goes to another level. I am picky myself, but I feel I am not as picky about physical features as I am about other qualities. I believe there needs to be a balance between "settling" for mediocre partners and rejecting someone for superficial reasons.

  4. My only concern is that many people wait for perfection when it doesn't exist in anyone! I think you would do yourself a huge diservice if you didn't have some sort of standard for the type of personality and drive that your mate would have. HOWEVER, the physical laundry list that women hold men to are unrealistic and often they are what keeps women single.

    Most women have several personal things that they don't like about themselves so why would we sit here and irrationally crititque a man for not having the right shoulders or the right job description. Point blank if you're attracted to him and his personality and you guys have a cohesive vision and he can provide for you emotionally and spiritually, who cares how tall he is?

    Basically I do believe that too many people - men and women - are WAY TOO picky about who they will date and they are also contradictory and confusing. Men will date a Barbie but they wanna marry a church girl. Women are sexually attracted to the bad boy but they want their children to have a responsible provider. I think we need to re-evaluate what we want out of our relationships and stop allowing miniscule flaws deter us from happiness and love

  5. To be honest, I don't think being picky is a bad thing to a certain extent. In my opinion, you can't like everyone, and everyone will NOT like you. I know a lot of us ( me as well) are guilty of the look thing... and as much as many of us do not want to look shallow.. looks matter. If I can't see myself with you in a picture, or your the sweetest man in the world, however I can't walk down the street with you, that's a problem. Not to say, the problem can't be fixed, yet, you can't teach an old dog new tricks sometimes.

    I'm single, because I haven't found the one. Plain and simple. not even anyone has measured up.
    I'm don't classify myself as picky, I just think that I have High this stage in my life, because I've been through a lot. I believe people confuse being picky and standards...It"s okay to have standards, at the end of the day, you have to make sure YOU are happy, instead of just being with someone for all the wrong reasons. ... That's just my opinion :)

    nice post by the way!!

  6. 1) A lot of potential dates are in jail.
    2) A lot of potential dates are gay.
    3) A lot of potential dates don't have a chance b/c it's rare that a black woman dates outside her race keeping her single.

    those are the real reasons.